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The 5:1 Rule Card
Five acknowledgements for every correction — the ratio that keeps kids engaged · Part of the free Parent Decoder Toolkit · Print me
The rule: catch five good things for every one you correct. Classrooms that keep this ratio stay engaged; families that don't drift into nagging.
What counts as a “catch”
“You handed it over on the first ask — Curfew Drop.”
“You started homework before I mentioned it.”
“That was a calm voice. Redo accepted.”
“You told me the truth first. That's the expensive one.”
“Bed made without a reminder.”
“You let your sister go first.”
Make it specific
“Good job” is a 0. Naming the exact behavior is the 1. Specific praise increases motivation; generic praise does nothing (Deci et al., 1999).
Today's tally
Catches: ☐ ☐ ☐ ☐ ☐
Corrections: ☐
When the ratio slips
It is never the kid's job to earn praise; it is the parent's job to notice. Lower the bar for what counts until the ratio is back.