RANKPOP
TOOLKIT
The Crash-Out Protocol
What to do in the first 10 minutes of a meltdown · Part of the free Parent Decoder Toolkit · Print me
0–2 minutes · Safety and space
Say one sentence, quietly: “You're at a 9. I'm here. Take your space.” Separate siblings. Do not explain, negotiate or consequence anything yet — the thinking brain is offline.
2–10 minutes · Co-regulate
Younger kids: sit nearby, slow breaths, name the feeling (“really mad”). Older kids: door closed is fine, slammed is not. A self-started break earns Aura later (EI-06); a crash-out costs a small tax only if it involved damage or disrespect.
After calm · Repair
“What happened? What helped? What do we try next time?” Then the consequence, small and related, with an earn-back today. Never punish the feeling; consequence the behavior.
Never
Lecture during the storm · match their volume · threaten a week-long ban · punish crying · discuss it in front of friends.